I thought of you whenever I was alone,
I wonder how I cope up with my loneliness,
I know you can hear me,
Then tell me why did you leave me?
What I did, what was my fault,
Why am I suffering your loss,
Which I don't deserve?
The day still haunts me to not to find you around.
I thought you would be back in an hour,
After an hour I thought you would be back by night,
Or by next day or within a couple of days.
I waited at the door,
Days turned into years.
I grew up to find myself in solitude.
I still have a vague picture of yours,
That pretty face, that wet long black hair,
Your smile at all the silly timid things I did,
Your white conch bangles touching my forehead,
Your way of saying baba,
that you loved me more than him.
These thoughts are not enough to make me happy,
I miss your physical existence the most.
I walk, I talk, I do things as if
Nothing is wrong with me,
I am happy and content.
I keep myself busy whenever I am left with nothing to do,
I take up my friend's work to keep myself occupied,
You know why?
I know the moment I am alone,
My desire of not being able to see you
And feel you anymore will haunt me.
At times I feel like screaming and crying out,
To outburst the pain I hold in my heart.
I always lean over the same window,
Where you used to sit me on your lap,
The window is still there, so am I,
But I am missing your warmth, your love.
Mother, I miss you,
I love you,
I still remember you.
I don't know whether I will ever get to meet you or not.
I wish my feelings, my thoughts were strong enough
To bring you back to me.
Mother come back home,
I miss you a lot.
PIYALI GUHA